Dearly Sad People
I'm scared of seeing beneath my own. Superficial front again.I'm a lucky person, I'm loved by my rich parents.
I'm gloomy, but I have Saki.
But I wanted something else. I wanted what I was not.
I wanted to be "unhappy".
The "unhappy" people on TV.
An unhappy past, an unhappy life...
It was like they were drunk with unhappiness.
It may have been because of that unusual sadness
Expressed in her that I became best friends with Saku.
I soon ended up finding out that
Unhappiness is not something to be "desired".
IT CRUSHES YOU.
YOU'RE ALIVE, BUT DEAD
EVERY DAY LITTLE BY LITTLE. YOU DIE
THAT IS THE REALITY OF IT.
And in that reality, I could do nothing but watch.
Only my shallowness become clear.
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
Even if anyone or anything denies you,
Please don't think I'm the same
I'll stay here, stay by your side
Don't feel like you're alone in this world.
Taken From Hoshi Wa Utau (Takaya Natsuki)
Note : These are the words of a girl's -sei- for her bestfriend ( a girl too) -saku-
These words really represents my hearts. When i read this world, i said to myself, the mangaka really do understand me!
I do feel the same with the character who said this in this comic. I have certain interest to some people, people that live with pain- people that hurt by others. This feeling is actually hard to explain. It'a more than sympathy, but it's not pity. I admire them, and probably love them. But this love is a little different than love between man and woman or parents to child. I can't explain what kind of love it is. I adore them, I respect them. They are "beautiful".
I want them to be able to reach the best of life that they can get. I want to help them. That's probably the reason why i always, helplessly want they to keep struggle for their life, life at the best.
Probably that's why i dont wanna to give up for people like this. Even though i said so, i still watching their back. But, it's true. I had given up. not so long ago. I become to understand, that not all the hurt people is sparkling, means not all of them willing to struggle for their own life. Some choose life that they already have now, even though they dont like it, or hate it. And I can't change that.
I also come to an understanding that the people i admire is the hurt people that struggle for their life, whether it's in a positive or negative way. I admire their fighting spirits. I think because of that fighting spirits, their ability to survive, they deserve the best. And i want to help them to make it, in a positive way.
But i don't like one that giving up to life, to everything that (s)he dont get. And stop there. Because when someone decide to live a life like that, (s)he will ignore everything you said. Even though (s)he know you may be right, but (s)he just dont want to hurt more. Because you know what, fighting means hurt more to get more, but no one can guarantee that u certanily will get more, just like no one can know certainly what will happen the next. Well, i dont say people like that won't change. But for me, when someone decide that, and when i tried my best and he still stay there, and even he already know all the consequences and probability. So, i think that time i should leave him with his choice. Everyone is responsible for their own choice, isn't?
Well, afterall i just want to say that the quote in the beginning of this posting is really represents my heart. The feeling that i can never understand before-that i questioning myself- this mangaka, Takaya Natsuki, can say it well. I feel like she can really understand me, even though she won't even know me.
And i recommend her mangas to be read. Because you'll get so many life lesson, that different from other books or manga. Through her manga, she teach us how to accept the ugliness like it is, instead to sugar coating it. Through her manga, i could learn about life, the bad and the good. I can't say much, but i guarantee u can find wonderful story and life lesson in her mangas. And they are worth to read, very much! :D
U can find her manga list here. And the series that i like the most is "Fruits Basket" :3
"People that I like is not people with pain, but people who struggle with their pain. Because they teach me to keep fighting, struggle in life. Even though with pain and will be hurt again and again. They teach me what pain meaning is"
"People that I like is not people with pain, but people who struggle with their pain. Because they teach me to keep fighting, struggle in life. Even though with pain and will be hurt again and again. They teach me what pain meaning is"
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