A New Life

Saturday, March 3, 2007

In the journey to searching the real of my self

In the journey to searching the truth

Often, I felt Confuse……..

So many reality, Also Opinion

Which one is true??

Which onr that i must believe forever??

All of that never make me satisfied

I think, all of that isnt true

Then, which one is true????

One day, I found it

I begin to struggle

Begin a new struggle to reach

The purpose of life

Struggle to make life usefull

In order to make this life isnt trash away

In order to make this life isnt trash away for useless things

I hope my wish become true

I hope my wish isn’t only become a wish

But, I hope it can be a target of life

A target that i must reach

May be, I am still weak

May be, I still cant do much

But, I promise I’ll reach it

I promise yo be better

I promise will never defeated by my weakness,

Not also to my Limitedness

Because the one that I looking for

Since 16 years ago in my life

That’s why I will never let

What I had got difficultly will lost and gone……

Only because my weakness…..

Only because my lmitedness….

That’s my promise to my self………

Burried

Saturday, April 28, 2007

A year Almost passed

Since I had choosen this way

Since I had stiffen my heart

But,

No result that I get

The last chance is also lost

Trashed……..

Failed………

As if I threw away

By The dry hot storm

My faith is also loosen

I dont know

How many times i fell

How many people confused me

I dont know anymore

I dont what I must do

Only disgraceful left………

Now, my will that I had built is shaky

My faith that I had supported me until now

Is also shaky…….

I wanna to fight for Allah

I wanna prove to God

Prove yo all over the world

Also, to my self…

I wanna to be a strong fighter

A fighter that isnt easily give up

Even though there is so many obstacle

However difficul it is

Even though i must be carry on

Thousand of wound

But,

The failure has pulled me

Fall again into the dephts of desperate

Will I reach my dream again????

Or

It only will be dream in Fantasy????

Will I can reach this dream

Get back the meaning of this life…..?????

Or

Only will be a true looser

Which can get nothing

Except suffer and sadness ……?????

Disablement

Friday, June 1, 2007

Why….???

Why even though whatever i have done

However i have tried

I can’t find the reason

Of me to always searching of something

I can’t understand what is something that i m looking for

I cant understand about everything

What I feel…..

Is only emptiness and loneliness

Why I must feel all of this feeling?

Why I must have this experience?

Why everything is look like a manipulated??

I don’t know

I don’t understand

I confuse abt everything….

I have eyes, but exactly make me blind

I have ear, but exactly make me deaf

Moreover, my feeling is also

Make everything be more blurred

The only i know is

Sadness, Hatred, Loneliness,

Annoyence, Emptiness, Jealously,

And The weakness of myself…….

Everything that i had make me defect

Make me lose into darkness

Snared into mud which full of darkness

That always pull me into that mud

Make me give up and surrender

And only accept whatever happen…..

Everything i had done make me more fast

Push me, Snared me more stronger

Second by second

I had being more burried, dropped

Into that darkness mud!!!

Will the shine come to me????!!!

Help me to break out from this darkness??

Tell me the answer ……

The Answer of all my question

Make me a power and faith

And Show me the meaning of all had happened