Today, i m wondering
Why, even though i m feeling this much conflicted,
Why won't i share my minds with others?
I could get some clue and help with that.

But...

I am afraid to reveal my minds
Bcs i am afraid if they'll leave me
Knowing how much trouble it brings

I am afraid to reveal my minds
Bcs i am afraid if i'll make them suffer the same feeling i have
An endless conflicted feeling

I am afraid to reveal my minds
Bcs it might lead them asthray
Just like what happen to me, so many times

I am afraid to reveal my minds
Bcs it might tainted ur pure soul into darkness
Like mine, which is bound tightly into darkness

I am afraid to reveal my minds
Bcs it might bring u into madness
Just like i've experienced many times

But...

Sometimes my mind overwhelmed me,
And i got lost in it, i can't find myself anymore

Having this kind of thoughts is so much scary, almost like a curse
But even so, i couldn't ignore it
Bcs it's inside me and will always be with me, forever...

Sometimes, i wonder,
Will there any times when i no longer needs to be afraid to share my thoughts?
Or...
Will there come time when i could be tough enough, so i dont need anyone to share it?

Well, i actually dont wanna the latter to be happen.
Bcs that would be very miserable and sad

13 Juli 2015